Why Negative Life Lessons Are So Valuable

by Jonathan

When looking for ways to improve our lives, what is it we usually focus on? Don’t we tend to focus on things that will move our reality in a more positive direction? Typically, we look for ways to experience greater happiness, create more leisure time, or increase our level of success.
Regardless of the area we focus on, the intent is usually to make some degree of positive improvement, to notch things up to the next level. While this is a very important part of personal development, it is really less than fifty percent of the big picture. Why do I say that? Because in reality, the greater part of personal development comes from learning…

Negative life lessons

 

I know, it sounds strange and even a bit counter productive. After all, why would we want to focus on the negative side if our goal is personal development? But, what do I mean by “negative life lessons”?
Simply stated, a negative life lesson is when we learn what not to do. Maybe you are wondering: “How does learning what not to do help with my personal development?” To answer that question, let’s consider a few real life situations.

It starts when we are children

 

Most parents teach their young children not to play in the street. In this case, teaching them what not to do could easily mean the difference between life and death. All the positive things that child learns will be meaningless if he runs out in front of a car.
Later, when the child’s awareness has grown, he will learn not to go into the street without looking both ways. So, even though his perception has grown and changed, learning what not to do is still a vital part of his personal development.

You can’t move forward while losing ground

 

Essentially, negative life lessons are designed to keep us from losing ground in our personal growth and development. In the illustration above, the value is obvious. It involves life itself. In other situations, the benefits of a negative life lesson may be more subtle.
Sometimes we learn how to avoid physical or emotional pain. Or, we might learn that certain approaches waste time and resources. Successful relationships belong to those who figure out what not to do, and thus avoid needlessly hurting the feeling of the other person.
It doesn’t matter whether we are talking about raising children, building a business, or nurturing a meaningful relationship. Learning what not to do is an important key to success. Making progress in any of these areas means avoiding the things that undermine our positive efforts.

Shortcut the process for quicker results

 

Just as we can learn valuable new techniques and skills from those with previous experience, we should also learn from the mistakes of others. Look around at the abilities of the people you know. Some of them can probably serve as perfect examples of what not to do.
By analyzing why the efforts of others fail to produce good results, you can save yourself a bunch of time and energy. Whether it’s a dysfunctional family, a failing business, or poor health, there is always something you can learn. They’ve just shown you what not to do, and that is extremely valuable.

All life lessons are positive

 

I used the term “negative life lessons” only because they are the opposite of those life lessons designed to produce forward momentum. In reality, all life lessons are positive if we apply what we learn. Thomas Edison discovered 10,000 ways not to make a light bulb before he finally figured it out. What can we learn from his example?
Figuring out what works is often a process of elimination. By identifying and eliminating the thoughts, emotions, and actions that are not productive, we move ever closer to our desired outcome. You can apply this to specific goals, or your life in general. Avoiding what doesn’t work is at the foundation of all success.

A positive view of negative life lessons

 

Realizing the incredible value of learning what not to do should have a profound effect on our attitude. Every time we discover what doesn’t work, we move closer to solving a problem, overcoming an obstacle, or making a personal breakthrough. Every life lesson we learn, negative or positive, is a personal development treasure.
So, the next time your efforts don’t produce the exact result you were hoping for, take a moment to analyze the value of what you have just learned. Think of all the time and effort you will save because of that lesson. Consider how much more effective your future efforts will be. Now, aren’t you grateful for all those wonderful, negative life lessons?

Can You Focus Your Attention to Improve Your Reality

by Jonathan

How good are you at focusing your time and attention toward things that really matter?  In a world full of constant distractions, how often do you find yourself struggling to maintain your focus on the things that are truly important to you personally?
The connection between what we choose to focus on and our current reality is often misunderstood. Increasingly, productivity is being replaced by busy work and as a result, feelings of frustration are overtaking our sense of accomplishment.  Learning to purposely direct your focus will make it possible to reverse this trend.

Focusing on priorities while avoiding distractions

 

Understanding how your mind uses focus to direct your attention gives you the ability to create a less frustrating and more targeted life experience. You control your perception of reality by controlling where you focus your attention. This is because focus brings one thing to the center of our consciousness while deemphasizing everything else.
When we focus on our priorities it also helps us to block out distractions. The less focused we are the more susceptible we become to every little distraction that comes along. And let’s face it; winning the battle against distractions is getting more challenging by the day.

Are you in command of your life’s priorities?

 

Many people have never actually taken the time to discover what is truly important to them. All through life our priorities are influenced by other people’s advice and expectations.  As a result, much of what we do in life is a reflection of those outside influences. And once life becomes a routine, there is a tendency to just keep doing what we have always done without giving it much thought.
Over time your mind and your nervous system gets programmed through repetition. This causes you to continue to focus your attention on the same things you have always focused on. Eventually we can find ourselves in a rut and running on autopilot. The problem with this approach is that life is constantly changing. If we just keep following our old routine, we could easily spend years putting our focus in a direction that does not reflect our true self.

Aligning your priorities with your true self

 

Before we can establish priorities that truly represent our core self, we need to take the time to discover who we really are. To do this requires that we step outside the programming of those external influences and connect with our deepest values, passions, and motives. But how do we do that?
As important as it is to connect with your true self, it is not something that you are taught through conventional channels. Consequently, it’s a process that you may struggle with. In fact, recognizing this need is what moved me to lay it all out in a step-by-step home study course called Find Your TRUE SELF. Only when you discover who you are on the deepest levels can you succeed in directing your focus toward the truly important things in your life.

Putting it all together

 

So, just to be clear, let’s look at how you can focus your attention in a way that helps create a more meaningful reality. Whatever we focus on the most will eventually manifest in our life, but that will only be meaningful if it is in harmony with our true self. Because we have been influenced by external feedback all our lives, our concept of true self is skewed toward the strongest or most unrelenting of those external influences. On top of that, the constant barrage of distractions we are exposed to on a daily basis further clouds our perception of who we really are.
Having the right priorities in life is how you buy out the time and energy to focus your attention where it will do the most good. For those priorities to be right for you as an individual, you must take the time to find your true self. Once you do that, you put yourself in a position to align your priorities so you can focus your attention on the thoughts and activities that lead to a more fulfilling life experience.

Unleash the power of focus

 

Focus is a very powerful tool, especially when it is used in a way that aligns with and supports your authentic self. I encourage you to take the time to discover your unique inner person. Before you can harmonize your life and the amazing power of focus, you need to distinguish the person you truly are from your response to outside influences and expectations. In other words, find your true self.